Finding My Way Out of a Funk and Into Silence {and a Challenge}

Without silence the Word of God cannot bear fruit. One of the most depressing aspects of contemporary life is the almost complete absence of silence. I wonder if the Word of God can really be received in the center of our hearts if our constant chatter and noise and electronic interactions keep blocking the way of the heart.” (From Henri Nouwen’s Spiritual Formation).

Whew. It’s been a long week. I’ve been in a funk and I desperately need to hear the Word of God, and I need it to bear fruit in my heart. I am married to a truly great man,  yet, as things go, as life becomes full and hard, I start to feel like I no longer feel or see his love for me.

It hurts.

It makes my heart yearn and long— kind of a homesick sort of feeling deep in my heart. I am homesick. I want to live in the world to come— where my heart’s needs and longings will be ever fulfilled. I am homesick for my Savior. Because in Him the only real and consistent source of  love exists for me. He is the only one whose love will never disappoint— will never let me down. His love is realperfecttrue.

But my life as a mom of three is so busy, so full. There is so much activity and noise. Where does a hard at work wife and mom find time for silence?! Something has got to give.

If His still small voice is in the calm, I must find the calm. I must make room for it in my life. I am desperate to believe His words, that they would take deep root in my heart… bearing fruit. Those words telling me I am His beloved. His words— the only remedy for this deep ache, the ache coming from the desire to be thought of, remembered, loved. And passionately.

(We mamas, we need to hear his voice calling us His chosen, His beloved!)

Because the only way to silence the lie that whispers “you are forgotten” is to receive His truth in my heart. And this truth comes with time in silence and solitude, time spent with the one who gave His life for mine, who has my name engraved on His hand, the one who knows intimately every ounce of me, whose thoughts for me outnumber the grains of sand.

We need silence because we need time to discern the many competing voices in our minds.

Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint, but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.” Proverbs 29:18 (NIV)

Or said another way, “If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed.” (From The Message)

I don’t know about you— but I need God’s revelation. Because when I start believing the lies that are being whispered in my ear, I live to feed those lies. If I believe that I have been forgotten — I start to look for ways to feel or be remembered and I set my hope on things that can only promise to disappoint, things that will always fall short and come up empty. I build idols— seeking things to fill this hole— the ache. I start stumbling all over myself. 

But when I hear truth, and let it rest and take root in the deepest part of my soul, I see what God is doing and then it comes… I find true fulfillment in Him.

I need to see through His eyes. I need to see what He is doing. So, I am making room for silence and meditation this week. Join me?

What lies are you believing?

What in your life do you feel anxious or fearful about?

What is a source of hurt or pain for you?

In what areas are Guilt and Shame pestering you?

As you spend time in prayer, try to identify what is at the root of these feelings. Chances are, some lies are being whispered in your ear too. (Ever since The Garden it’s been the enemy’s way.) Spend some time in the Word, in silence— meditating on the truth, letting His words speak to those things.

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For further reflection I highly recommend listening to this sermon called The Wounded Spirit. It was such an encouragement to me this week and was one of the things that finally snapped me out of my “funk”… the other was exercise. I went on a long run Friday night and listened to the sermon while I ran. It’s amazing how exercise will help clear your mind! And it’s been something I’ve felt like God has been saying to me (for months really) — that I need to be taking care of myself, eating well, and getting some regular exercise. Especially for us homeschooling moms, we have so much on our plates and since we tend to be more tied up at home (which can feel isolating) we need to try to find some balance and take care of ourselves so that we don’t burn out or get into a mental funk. To make this happen I’m joining a little movement. My neighbor’s niece has started something called 100x. It is a challenge—  for anyone who wants to participate— to set some personal goals in a specific area of your life and to spend the next 100 days (starting on August 24th) accomplishing your goals. It can be anything from spiritual goals, to health goals, financial goals, goals related to a hobby you want to grow in, or anything else. I love this idea and since I feel like God has been speaking to me about exercising, I am setting a goal to spend at least 10 minutes each day exercising for the next 100 days. I am setting my goal low because I know if I get going, chances are I will go for longer than 10 minutes… but also because with three kids and our school year starting, I may only get in 10 minutes some days. If you wish to join in, visit the website here or the Facebook page here, and leave a comment so I know who is doing this with me!

 

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